We are leaving Kandy 😦 Today is our last official day of packing and I just took a breather to put in my last, long overdue, entry to this blog site. So many things happened since my last December 2014 #TrailingSpouseStories blog crawl post. 2015 welcome me with both the highest and the lowest points in my life.
“Welcome to the December #TrailingSpouseStories blog crawl!This December, we talk about the much anticipated and somehow dreaded, ultra sentimental Christmas holidays. How were the Christmas holidays outside your home country? How is it similar and different? What did you enjoy most spending Christmas abroad?Find out how we spend our holidays and how it feels to spend it in different corners of the globe, so don’t forget to read more stories of fellow trailing spouses at the end of this blogpost.”
“Read more about fellow #TrailingSpouseStories at:
- Didi’s story on D for Delicious on how Christmas abroad start out tearful, but after some time, it turns tearless
- Yuliya’s story on Tiny Expats on their journey and experience of winter holidays in 6 countries along the way.
- Abigail’s story on Cuddles & Crumbs on a look back on what we have been doing on Christmas and slowly working on our family traditions.
- Tala’s story on Tala Ocampo on how the Ocampo’s spent their first Christmas abroad in Colombo, Sri Lanka celebrating not only Christ’s birth but also the birth of their daughter Luna.
- Marie’s story on laughlovepractive on how times change, Christmas celebrations change. But one thing keeps it the same.
- Glendale’s story on G’s Kandy Krush on how she is celebrating my first Christmas in Sri Lanka, where she resides with her husband and 2 sons.
- Third’s story on Pinoy in America on how Pinoys have successfully brought the Philippines’ best-loved Christmas customs and traditions to America.
- Marc’s story on Fatherland, explaining how Christmas is different this year compared to past Christmases.
- Jenny’s story on My Mommyology on how Christmas in Manila or in the US is different every year with the kids. Or is it the same?”
- Kristine’s story on Tala Ocampo where Mac shares her reflections with Tala on spending Christmas away from home for a total of 15 years”
“Welcome to the inaugural run of the #TrailingSpouseStories blog crawl hosted by Tala Ocampo and Didi of D for Delicious. This November we talk about our First Voyage as trailing spouses and what we’ve brought with us, rather: what’s in your suitcase?
Please see the end of the post for other #TrailingSpouseStories.”
Met my husband, got married and had our two sons over the course of our over 15-year tenure in the United Arab Emirates. In early 2013, there was a falling out with his then new employment in Dubai. After already having trailed with him from Abu Dhabi to Dubai and back, been through so much all those years, we both decided t’was time to move on. Hence, the move to Sri Lanka, with one setback; I will not be able to join my boys immediately. The day I had to send them off in the airport was the most dreaded day of my entire life. It was sad to have left my family back home in ’99 when I had to leave for the UAE, but nothing has prepared me for the devastating pain this day would cause me; even with the thought that we will see each other soon enough; not even then. To cut this long story shorter, they left for Sri Lanka whilst I had to stay in Abu Dhabi with the company I am working for since earlier, a previous employer whom I’ve left when my husband got a job in Dubai, and was kind enough to hire me back. I did not leave work just then, as a gesture of gratitude for their having my back when I lost my job in Dubai amidst the recession.
LINKS TO THE OTHER #TrailingSpouseStories:
- Jenny’s story on MyMommyology
- Marc’s story on Fatherland
- Tala’s story on Tala Ocampo
- Shine’s story also on Tala’s blog
- Nix’s story on Driving Spiderman
- Glendale’s story on My “Kandy” Crush
- Char’s story on Ice Cream Sessions
- Tracy’s story on Tala’s blog
- Milen’s story on Tala’s blog
- Didi’s story on D for Delicious
- Cath’s story on D for Delicious
“Forrest Gump” never gets old. I may have seen this movie like a gazillion times but I still find myself stop to flicker on the remote control if I catch it on a movie tv channel everytime. It’s one of those many outside factors that put me in my place especially when my pettiness acts up.
It always make me think what if I understood things the way Forrest did – that life is indeed simple; that I can do things on faith without rationalizing and over analyzing; getting through something without too much questioning and arguing. I believe in my heart that there are no stupid people in this world, not in this lifetime anyway. I just know that people tend to do stupid things when there is too much of emotions in play, one of many imperfections, either being too in love or too greedy or too excited; falling in and out of love too fast, never being satisfied of what you are and what you have will put you in situations where you will need to decide to roughen it up or take the easy way out. Sometimes, those easy ways lead to the wrong, moreso, disaster. I found myself compromised in more ways than just a couple coz I did not listen to the whispers that it may be stupid or wrong. I am in continuous pursuit of doing things differently. Easier said than done though, plus the cinematics make you feel it is easy. However, believing that it is so is not impossible. Right now, I take one damn day at a time; I do my utmost to be grateful every chance I take and I look forward to what tomorrow brings. Besides, life is like a box of chocolates…
I posted a Facebook status saying “shan’t and can’t put it down now” reading Gillian Flynn’s supposed best-seller.
It was because I was both prematurely celebrating knowing I had the ending figured out (at this point I couldn’t literally put the book down) and I wanted to finish reading and see the movie trailer already (starring Ben Affleck to be shown in October this year). For those who are yet to read it, I do not intend to spoil it for you but there was no jaw-dropping incidents to be honest. It wasn’t also definitely not a feel good book, na-uh, but I thought the story was so twisted and sick for it’s own good. Read it in a course of 2 weeks till about half an hour past 12 mn ago and made it through some boring stuff, which of course is necessary to be read. It’s like watching through all episodes of #GameOfThrones – the boring and long but imperative conversations that needed to be really listened to and understood; sickening brutality; the almost inappropriate sexual encounters; the relentless violence; blood; guts; blood and more guts but without the #redwedding in the finale or #Joffrey being poisoned or the head of #PrinceOberyn getting crushed by #TheMountain . I felt like my adrenaline and holding my breath in anticipation was not redeemed; same way goes to both Nick and Amy Dunne – no redeeming light for these 2. Eh! Just saying…even if it’s not to my satisfaction, I read a book nyways and this is my own prerogative. Others may like it more than I did. Now lemme a Kinsella to feel better. Cheers!
I did manage to import all my Xanga posts to my WordPress blog and it is so surreal being able to read from my own diary, if you will, from 9 years ago…so, so enlightening and did I say, surreal?!? I haven’t written in awhile but all of a sudden, my daily routine maybe changing drastically; Though am trying really hard, neither can I seem to get rid of my phone nor my laptop; my big playlist is ready with just about a little bit of everything – 80’s nostalgia, Disney movie soundtrack, musicals, Church songs, some Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, Christina Perri, MJ, EWF, The Beatles, new hit songs and old…and as I consider myself a bit of a creative mind, a hint (alright, a lot) of procrastination. Ok, I want to establish the right kind of inspiration.
So, here’s the thing – when I did the big move, I will finally admit, I was a bit of a mess here and there. Didn’t want to worry my family. Besides, they do have their own little issues and instead of being a burden, I didn’t make a big deal out of it. “Oh I’m right at home there”, “I’ve been there for vacation a couple of times before, I’ll be fine”…Please cut me a little slack – no matter how positive of a person I am, perhaps a little less whinier than most people, it freaked me out. Again, I will say that feeling like this doesn’t make me love my husband and my children any less; as a matter of fact, they are and will be the main reason I was able to do it in the first place. But the last 15 years of my life in the UAE, working; not being able to go home to my own country for the last, what? 5-6 years, made it really, really more difficult. I love being a housewife; I love taking care of my family, cooking for the boys, baking for ’em, at times smothering them just a li’l, sure (they have to bear with some imbalance hormones on certain ocassions). I miss working, yes but it was not the worst. It was the acceptance that I am indeed here and it is not my own realm. There is the never-ending comparisons between the Pinoys and the Lankans in words and deeds, my own people winning all my self arguments of course, duh…there isn’t a mall the size of Dubai Mall or Mall of Asia, we have to go to the city to be able to eat burgers in McDonald’s, no theme parks, nightlife…what can I say?…will suffice I think and their TV and movie personalities could really use some fashion advice and I mean that in a good, concerned way. But aren’t all these, petty, I ask myself. What about…?
My husband is blessed with a good job and is lovingly taking care of us
My kids are privileged to be going to a good school, smart enough to get accelerated by a year
My eldest son has been selected to play for the under 13 Football League in SL
My bunso creates awesome drawings just using the laptop touch pad (I can already envision Disney or Pixar)
We are blessed with shelter, a more than enough roof over our heads, with warm beds and clothing
I have house help
Our subdivision has 24-hour security
We are living in one of the awesome places in Sri Lanka, the hillside…where the mountains are green, the air is clean and fresh, and the weather is good
I have sight and comprehension to be able to read and thank God for all the books in this world
New-found Pinoy friends…yes, there are lots of Filipinos but mostly in Colombo and Negombo
Game of Thrones and The Voice keep me sane
Knowing that even if they are far from me right now, I will always have my Papa, Mama, my sisters, bros-in-law, nephews, the whole fam and friends and I am here for them
The hugs and kisses and overflowing love from my boys
God’s ever-presence in my midst
I used to keep a gratitude journal (Got the inspiration from Oprah…love her) but somehow, along the way, I had a fallout. And then, I immediately came to realize what the problem is…I have FORGOTTEN TO BE GRATEFUL. Regardless of Oprah, orThe Secret, or what all the great minds of this lifetime teaches, being grateful to God to the Universe is imperative in more ways than one. Plus, all these blessings are thrice as much as the complaints I throw to the Universe. I open my eyes and pray for peace and love in my whole system. Then, and only then I see all the beauty and goodness of what, where and when I am.
Yet again, I said my prayer of praise and thanksgiving in the wee hours of the morning after my birthday celebration with my family (twas actually a trio birthday celeb with my twin uncles). Though sleepless and emotionally cried out for the last couple of days, I struggle to find sleep or it can’t find me; and so I reflect…
37 years of living this amazing life; 37 years of strength and weaknesses, ups and downs, struggles and peace, love pain, happiness and sorrows; years and years of discovery and rediscovery, mistakes and realizations; lessons learnt, laughters, tears and everything good and bad, still hasn’t prepared me for the biggest sacrifice I have to give – being away from my children and my husband. This is the the first birthday away from them and it is altogether bittersweet coz I still have my sisters and few good friends to relish this day with and I am thankful for all these blessings but my emotions overflow because the very thing that will fill the void and complete the celebration are my boys. This longingness only makes me want to settle for good with them all the more. But that’s part of God’s plans for me after all.
I say a prayer of blessings for all the people who wished me this day especially those who never fail to make me feel loved even on Halloween, easter, Christmas or just another one fine day. I am truly and utterly blessed and loved by our Lord without a doubt. From hereon, I will myself to realize that blessings do not always come in big bundles, it comes in its smallest particle and in tears and sufferings…God, indeed, moves in really myterious ways and if at times, rather most of the time, I could not have fathom these, I will always leave it at that. Having said so, my ultimate birthday prayer then is that Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name; Thy Kingdom come and Thy Will be done, Amen.