05 December 2005 – 1555 hrs.

In the morning, at least before I start doing anything in the office, I always try my level best to open that prayer sent to me, which was made by T.D. Jakes. Supposed to be a very powerful prayer, I have made it a habit of saying it because I feel that whenever I do, It encompasses all that is in my heart and mind. Do you know that feeling when you pray and you tend to forget stuff that you have been wanting to pray for? You say “Amen” and make the sign of the cross and then remembers something that you wanted to talk to GOD about, so you then say sorry for saying Amen because apparently, you are not even done praying. Got my drift?

 

When I came back from my maternity leave, which by the way came to pass so quickly, I decided that I will make the most of my time. At the end of the day, or so when I get the chance during the day, I will write something on my journal. It will entail in-the-midst-of-things thoughts, matters, issues, arguments, tasks and syllogisms, over-all, I feel will be significant in this principle of journal-writing. I think it is about time I go out of this world of mine where I have devoted myself to believing that it is only my children, my husband, my family and my work. Forget the things that I still want and desire for. Somehow, it means that I still get to play the guitar once in a while but I want to have more time to play it and this time means time alone with me. My sister always gives me the nudge to do reality check once in a while. “I know that you’re married and that you had your good times when you were single, and you drank your heart out in College even during midterm exams period – but it doesn’t mean you stop living your own life now that you’re married”. There are still bits and pieces that I want to do for myself and myself alone, not deviating myself from my motherhood.

 

These past couple of days, I have realized my long-sought fervor of David Blaine, which dates back to 97, when he started claiming his righteous place in the world of unexplainable illusions and ingenious knacks, whether it be with cards, a chicken’s head or his own arms. I am in continuous pursuit of anything new about him as I think he is currently resting from his last stunt – “Above The Below”. I saw this site by Timothy McSweeney, wherein you can send open letters to people and/or entities that are unlikely to respond. I saw a letter written by an English to David Blaine who says he is a big fan of the latter, only, he wants to express his sincere sympathy and criticism of DB on why he chose to do this stunt in, of all places, the United Kingdom. Well, if you know or are friends with some English populace, you know why the former questions DB on this. I wrote one to DB’s current wife, whom I do not know of. Then, it struck me. I can write my own open-ended nothing just to relieve myself from a lot of questions in my mind right now.

 

I got back my Airfare Encashment Form as I am already entitled for an Airticket and Ate Lina from the Accounts Department has advised me to send it to them as soon as possible so as she could finalize it before she proceeds on her annual leave. There will be quite a headache if I leave it to the hands of the”tara’s”, some of which are very helpful to me, though. But…but…but….why leave it for later if I can get it done now.

 

When I woke up in the moring today, I was ailing because half of my back was so painful, especially if and when I attempt to stretch out. Truth of the matter is I was in oblivion most of today. I just found myself reading through a whole paragraph of a letter I was typing and did not understand anything once done.

 

Tomorrow is the grand finals of the singing competition I won from last time. I am looking forward to it. Do I desire to win? One can only hope.

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