37 and counting

Yet again, I said my prayer of praise and thanksgiving in the wee hours of the morning after my birthday celebration with my family (twas actually a trio birthday celeb with my twin uncles).  Though sleepless and emotionally cried out for the last couple of days, I struggle to find sleep or it can’t find me; and so I reflect…

37 years of living this amazing life; 37 years of strength and weaknesses, ups and downs, struggles and peace, love pain, happiness and sorrows; years and years of discovery and rediscovery, mistakes and realizations; lessons learnt, laughters, tears and everything good and bad, still hasn’t prepared me for the biggest sacrifice I have to give – being away from my children and my husband.  This is the the first birthday away from them and it is altogether bittersweet coz I still have my sisters and few good friends to relish this day with and I am thankful for all these blessings but my emotions overflow because the very thing that will fill the void and complete the celebration are my boys.  This longingness only makes me want to settle for good with them all the more.  But that’s part of God’s plans for me after all.

I say a prayer of blessings for all the people who wished me this day especially those who never fail to make me feel loved even on Halloween, easter, Christmas or just another one fine day. I am truly and utterly blessed and loved by our Lord without a doubt. From hereon, I will myself to realize that blessings do not always come in big bundles, it comes in its smallest particle and in tears and sufferings…God, indeed, moves in really myterious ways and if at times, rather most of the time, I could not have fathom these, I will always leave it at that. Having said so, my ultimate birthday prayer then is that Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name; Thy Kingdom come and Thy Will be done, Amen.

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