We are leaving Kandy 😦 Today is our last official day of packing and I just took a breather to put in my last, long overdue, entry to this blog site. So many things happened since my last December 2014 #TrailingSpouseStories blog crawl post. 2015 welcome me with both the highest and the lowest points in my life.
In January 2015, my family and I have been blessed to have been able to attend the Papal Mass when Pope Francis visited Sri Lanka; afterwhich, he will proceed to the Philippines. A lot of my family and friends have told me that it was an affirmation that I was exactly where God intends me to be; I was at the right place at the right time. Pope Francis only visited these 2 countries in Asia this year – my second home and my home country. It was so surreal seeing him up close and though we were sleepless, exhausted and uncomfortable where we are, God enabled us to see the whole celebration through; I have had the most serene moments of praying for my family and friends and received the final blessings.
Shortly after, we made our way back to Kandy to rejuvenate (but we managed to pass by St. Anthony’s Kochikade to light some candles praying for the same things in my heart). As we were sleep deprived, I planned to sleep in till the following day; so after I posted a prayer on Facebook reflecting on the Papal Mass we participated in that day, I surrendered to my most needed rest.
15 January 2015 – Early morning, I missed a lot of calls from my aunts and my cousins in the Philippines. A call from my cousin in US got through and the ring woke me up finally. I was so disoriented with just suddenly waking up, my imagination running wild wondering why so much of calls and then I heard it; my cousin said “They rushed Tito (my Pops) to the hospital; he is in coma” After that, nothing registered and the rest of our lives was never the same again after that phone call – it was a thyroid storm; he may or may not wake up anymore. My mom came home, my younger sister and brother in law followed home, too. My youngest sister couldn’t because she was pregnant so her husband had to stay with her too. All our kids were left to the care of friends and families. I arrived on 21 January 2015 dreading how I was going to feel if I see Pops in the hospital but then, I didn’t have to after all because he was already out of the hospital and was HOME. He was already resting with a radiant peace on his face when we came home from the airport. He already went HOME to his CREATOR. My sister was the one who was with him when he breathed his last right after “Haily Mary”, the concluding song of The Novena to our Mother of Perpetual Help. I was not there when they cleared the bills in the hospital, when they bought his last “barong”, when they went to the Morgue. I wish I could have been there because then, he was still alive. When I saw him in the white coffin not even an inch closer to it yet, I felt a different kind of pain that will indeed make you pass out because you wouldn’t know how to take it more and more. I was so glad that my husband was able to come home in time for the funeral and I know that I do not have to face the solitude when traveling back. Recapturing each and every moment when I close my eyes still hurts so, so much. But GOD and GOD alone is enabling me now to tell about it without breaking down, with serene thoughts and trusting feelings.
This was the turning point of my faith. It was a loss of a loved one but it was gaining so much more, to the point of accepting that it is difficult to fathom God’s plans but trust that they are much better and bigger plans than we can ever understand or imagine. If possible, the bond of our family was stronger than ever and our prayer life is flourishing and is continuously being nurtured by our hope and confidence in God. Now I know this much – from being in a fast-paced, corporate environment, God has put me in a place where I can turn down the sound of the world and hear HIM clearly. This is what Kandy gave me – my fortunate happenstance in FAITH, HOPE & CHARITY. I met wonderful and amazing people, I was blessed to be a part of Spem Miram English Institute and the added bonus of having my family over for a vacation before we moved.
My husband finished his contract; an inconvenience I would say. So we have to move from here. I will miss it.
But this sanctuary that GOD gave me also renewed my heart and soul, ready for whatever comes my way. The vulnerability I feel is what draws me closer to HIM; it is what makes me call on HIM and everything follows suit. Patience made us wait for the right moment; God’s moment and we pray everyday that we can continue to do this. Now, another new beginning awaits us in Colombo. It will not be easy but Jesus never said it was going to be. He just said, it will be worth it!